


Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things (SEASON TWO, EPISODE FOUR)

by ackles_ass_equation



Series: Superghetto [27]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon, Dead Mary Winchester, Episode: s02e04 Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things, Mary Winchester Grave, Mentions of Mary Winchester - Freeform, Screenplay/Script Format, mentions of John Winchester - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:05:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6976825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackles_ass_equation/pseuds/ackles_ass_equation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean n' Sam rewind tha dirtnap of a lil' college hustla whoz ass took a dirt nap up in a cold-ass lil hoopty accident yo, but whose grave is now surrounded by a cold-ass lil circle of dead plants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. NOW

**NEIL  
** Okay. We've gots booze, we've gots chocolate, and, wait fo' dat shit... tortured emo rock. Guaranteed cure fo' any fucked up ass. 

 **ANGELA  
** Yo ass didn't gotta do all all dis bullshit. I be fine. 

 **NEIL  
** Yeah, I can peep dis shit. 

he takes his hand up in both of hers.

 **ANGELA  
** Thanks, Neil.

 **NEIL  
** Yeah.

There be a funky-ass bangin poundin all up in tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. They both look around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **NEIL  
** Look...

 **ANGELA  
** It aint nuthin but probably his muthafuckin ass.

 **NEIL  
** I be bout ta take care of dat shit. 

Dude goes ta tha front door, opens dat shit. MATT is standin there.

 **MATT  
** Where is she?

 **NEIL  
** Letz just chill up n' be thinkin bout dis fo' a second, aiiight?

 **MATT  
** I need ta rap ta her muthafuckin ass.

 **NEIL  
** Some other time.

 **MATT  
** Yo ass git outta mah face, Neil.

MATT shoves NEIL n' enters; NEIL shuts tha door behind his muthafuckin ass. They both go tha fuck into tha kitchen ta find ANGELA gone. 

  
EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

ANGELA is rollin down a thugged-out dark road, bustin up yo. Her cell beeper rings, n' tha display readz "Mack Beeper Calling". Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch picks up. 

 **ANGELA  
** Leave. Me fo' realz. Alone. 

 **MATT (on phone)  
** Angela, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit.

 **ANGELA  
** Yo ass is sorry, biatch? (laughs) Yo ass is sorry, oh, thatz pimped out. 

 **MATT  
** Angela, dig mah dirty ass. 

 **ANGELA  
** I don't wanna dig you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? I be done listening!

 **MATT  
** Listen ta me biaatch!

 **ANGELA  
** No - I... I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, nahmean biiiatch?

Cryin n' lookin down, her dope ass don't peep a turn up in tha road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch crashes tha fuck into tha barrier n' shit. Close on ANGELA'S face, staring, covered up in blood.


	2. ACT ONE

EXT. ROAD - DAY

Da Impala zooms down a two-lane blacktop. DEAN is driving, SAM up in tha passengerz seat.

 **DEAN  
** Come on, Sam, I be beggin you, biatch. This is fuckin wack. 

 **SAM  
** Why?

 **DEAN  
** Goin ta git on over ta Momz grave, biatch? Biatch don't even gotz a grave -- there, there was no body left afta tha fire. 

 **SAM  
** Bitch has a headstone.

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, put up by her uncle, a playa we've never even met. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So you wanna, go pay yo' respects ta a slab of granite put up by a stranger?

 **SAM  
** Dean, thatz not tha point.

 **DEAN  
** Well then, enlighten me, Sam.

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but not on some funky-ass body, or, or, a cold-ass lil casket. It aint nuthin but bout her memory, aiiight?

 **DEAN  
** Hmmm.

 **SAM  
** And afta Dad it just... just feels like tha right thang ta do. 

 **DEAN  
** It aint nuthin but irrational, is what tha fuck it is. 

 **SAM  
** Look, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. No one axed you ta come. 

 **DEAN  
** Why don't we swin by tha roadhouse instead, biatch? I mean, we aint heard anythang on tha demon lately. We should be hustlin dat lil hustla of a funky-ass biiiatch down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **SAM  
** Thatz a phat idea, you should. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Just drop me off, I be bout ta hitch a ride, n' I be bout ta hook up you there tomorrow.

 **DEAN**  
Right. (Heh) Stuck ... stuck wit dem people, makin awkward lil' small-ass rap until you show up, biatch? No props.  
  
EXT. GRAVEYARD - DAY

SAM kneels before a headstone, diggin up in tha ground wit a gangbangin' foldin knife. Da headstone reads: MARY WINCHESTER, 1954-1983, In Bangin Memory

SAM pulls a set of dogtags outta his thugged-out lil' pocket yo. Dude sighs. 

 **SAM**  
I think, um .... I be thinkin Dad would have wanted you ta have these n' you can put dat on yo' toast.   
(Dude drops tha dogtags up in tha whole n' covers dem wild-ass muthafuckas.)  
I gots a straight-up boner fo' you, Mom. 

Nearby, DEAN is standin by another gravestone, marked as "Bangin Father", lookin pensive. Dude sees a thugged-out dyin tree, n' stops, frownin yo. Dude strutts over ta it, knocks on tha trunk, thankin boutly, then notices a slick circle of dead grass surroundin a gravestone yo. Dude crouches down, fingerin dead flowers. 

LATER, DEAN takes a cold-ass lil card from a playa up in a suit, then strutts over ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Angela Mason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch was a hustla all up in tha local college; funeral was three minutes ago. 

Da thugs strutt together n' shit.

 **SAM  
** And?

 **DEAN  
** And, biatch? Yo ass saw her grave. Everythang dead round it, up in a slick circle, biatch? Yo ass don't be thinkin thatz a lil weird?

 **SAM  
** Maybe tha groundskeeper went a lil agro wit tha pesticide. 

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, I axed him, I axed his muthafuckin ass. No pesticide, no chemicals. No Muthafucka can explain dat shit. 

 **SAM  
** Okay, so what tha fuck is you thinking?

 **DEAN  
** I dunno. Unholy ground, maybe?

 **SAM  
** Un-- (stops, speechless)

 **DEAN  
** What, biatch? If suttin' evil happened there, it could easily poison tha ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Remember the, da barn outside of Cedar Rapids?

 **SAM  
** Yeah, b-

 **DEAN**  
Could be tha sign of a thugged-out demonic presence. Or the, tha Angela girlz spirit, if itz bangin enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce.   
(SAM nods, turnin away.)  
Well, don't git too excited, you might pull something. 

 **SAM  
** It aint nuthin but just... stumblin onto a hunt, biatch? Here, of all places?

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So -- is you shizzle dis is on some hunt, n' not bout suttin' else?

 **DEAN  
** What else would it be about?

 **SAM (sighs heavily, bobbin his head, moves ta git tha fuck into tha car)  
** Yo ass know, just forget bout dat shit. 

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass believe what tha fuck you want, Sam yo, but -- I let you drag mah ass up here, tha least we could do is check dis out. 

 **SAM  
** Yeah. Fine.

 **DEAN  
** Girlz daddy works up in town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk a pimp all up in tha school. 

INT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SCHOOL BUILDING - DAY

DEAN n' SAM knock on tha door of DR. MASON'S crib. 

 **DEAN  
** Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Mason?

  1. **MASON  
** Yes?



**SAM  
** I be Sam. This is Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Us thugs was playaz of Angela's. We ... we wanted ta offer our condolences. 

  1. **MASON  
** Please, come in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 



They enter; his schmoooove ass closes tha door behind dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sittin down, da perved-out muthafucka shows dem a photo mixtape. In tha corner, DEAN is lookin all up in a oldschool book.

 **SAM (lookin all up in tha photo mixtape wit DR MASON)  
** Bitch was dope naaahhmean, biatch? 

  1. **MASON  
** Yes, dat biiiiatch was. 



**DEAN (standin nearby, lookin at a funky-ass bookshelf)  
** This be a unusual book. 

Dude shows tha cover of tha book his thugged-out lil' punk-ass been pagin through; it has carvingz of Greek lettas n' a triangular symbol.

  1. **MASON  
** It aint nuthin but ancient Greek; I teach a cold-ass lil course. 



**DEAN  
** So a cold-ass lil hoopty accident, that's, thatz horrible. 

  1. **MASON  
** Angie was only a mile away from home when, uh ... 



**DEAN**  
It aint nuthin but gotta be hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Losin one of mah thugs like dis shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes itz like they s-- still around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Almost like you can still sense they presence.   
(SAM looks at him, concerned.)  
Yo ass eva feel anythang like that?

  1. **MASON  
** I do, as a matta of fact. 



**SAM**  
(still lookin at DEAN)  
Thatz perfectly normal, Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Mason. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Especially wit what tha fuck you goin all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. 

  1. **MASON  
** Yo ass know, I still beeper her n' shiznit fo' realz. And tha phonez ringin before I remember that, uh .... Familyz every last muthafuckin thang, you know, biatch? Angie was da most thugged-out blingin thang up in mah game fo' realz. And now I, I, I be just lost without her n' shit. 



**SAM  
** We straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit. 

INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

 **DEAN  
** I be spittin some lyrics ta you, there be a suttin' goin on here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Us playas just aint found it yet. 

 **SAM  
** Dean, so far you've gots a patch of dead grass n' nothing.

 **DEAN  
** Well, suttin' turned dat grave tha fuck into unholy ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **SAM  
** Therez no reason fo' it ta be unholy ground. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Angela Mason was a sick hoe whoz ass took a dirt nap up in a cold-ass lil hoopty crash. Thatz not exactly vengeful spirit material. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Yo ass heard her daddy n' shit. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, well, maybe Daddy don't give a fuck every last muthafuckin thang there is ta know bout his fuckin lil angel, huh?

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know what, biatch? We never should have bothered dat skanky man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We shouldn't even be here no mo'.

 **DEAN  
** So what, Sam, biatch? What, our laid-back asses just bail, biatch? Without even figurin up what tha fuck be happenin?

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin I know what tha fuck be happenin here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. It aint nuthin but tha only reason I went along wit you dis far. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 

 **DEAN  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **SAM  
** This be bout Momz grave. 

 **DEAN**  
(scoffs)  
Thatz gots not a god damn thang ta do wit dat shit. 

 **SAM**  
Yo ass wouldn't step within a hundred yardz of dat shit. Look. Maybe you imaginin a hunt where there aint one so you don't gotta be thinkin bout Mom. Or Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
(Dean turns ta peep his muthafuckin ass.)  
(Sam sighs.)  
Yo ass wanna take another swing, biatch? Go ahead, if it'll make you feel mo' betta n' shit. 

 **DEAN (shakes his head minutely)  
** I don't need dis crap. 

DEAN grabs his jacket n' keys n' starts fo' tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. 

 **SAM  
** Dean, where're you going?

 **DEAN  
** I be goin ta go git a thugged-out drink fo' realz. Alone. 

Dude leaves. Cut to:

INT. MATT'S HOUSE - NIGHT 

MATT is chillin ridin' solo up in his fuckin livin room, watchin home pornoz of his ass n' Angela. Dude gets up ta git a funky-ass brew n' shit. Close blasted of a lil' small-ass plant on tha side table; it withers. MATT sits back down again, without noticin tha plant. Dude pauses tha tape; freezes it on Angelaz face; then da perved-out muthafucka sees ANGELA'S reflection up in tha screen n' turns around, startled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude screams, n' blood splashes tha screen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 


	3. ACT TWO

INT fo' realz. ANGELA'S HOUSE - DAY

DEAN enterin a crib (ANGELA'S home). Dude looks around, picks up a gangbangin' framed picture. Dude glimpses a gangbangin' git into in reflection just before her big-ass booty sees his ass - itz tha roommate, LINDSEY.

 **LINDSEY  
** Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck tha hell is yo slick ass?

She turns n' shuts her muthafuckin ass up in her bedroom.

 **DEAN  
** Wait, wait, wait, wait, hold on!

 **LINDSEY  
** I be callin 9-1-1!

 **DEAN  
** I be Angelaz cousin!

 **LINDSEY  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, her daddy busted mah crazy ass over to, uh, pick up her stuff, mah namez Alan, biatch? Alan Stanwick?

 **LINDSEY**  
(openin tha door)  
Her daddy didn't say dat you was coming. 

 **DEAN**  
Well, I mean,  
(holdin up a set of keys)  
How tha fuck else would I tha key ta yo' place, biatch? (Dude laughs reassuringly n' a lil' bit uncomfortably.)  


INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY

DEAN handz tha hoe a kleenex. Dat hoe crying, n' DEAN looks slightly uncomfortable.

 **DEAN  
** So. I be shizzle you gots a, a view of Angela dat none of tha crew gots ta see. Tell me, what, what tha fuck was she like, biatch? I mean, what tha fuck was she straight-up like?

 **LINDSEY  
** Bitch was pimped out.

 **DEAN  
** Hmm.

 **LINDSEY  
** Just pimped out. I mean, dat biiiiatch was so... so... 

 **DEAN  
** Great.

 **LINDSEY  
** Yeah. Yeah. (sobbin again)

 **DEAN**  
Yeah.  
(handz her another tissue)  
Here you go. Yo ass two must done been straight-up close, huh?

 **LINDSEY  
** Us thugs were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. But it aint just her, itz Matt. 

 **DEAN  
** Who?

 **LINDSEY  
** Angelaz pimp yo, but it ain't no stoppin cause I be still poppin'. 

 **DEAN  
** Right, Matt. What bout him?

 **LINDSEY  
** Dude capped his dirty ass last night yo. Dude cut his own throat. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck do that?

 **DEAN  
** Thatz -- shitty.

 **LINDSEY  
** Dude was takin Angelaz dirtnap pretty hard, n' I guess... I mean, he'd been messed up bout it fo' days.

 **DEAN  
** Messed up how?

 **LINDSEY  
** Dude kept sayin dat da perved-out muthafucka saw her all over dis biiiatch.

 **DEAN  
** Well, I'm, I be shizzle dat thatz normal, I mean wit every last muthafuckin thang dat da thug was goin all up in cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. 

 **LINDSEY  
** Fuck dat shit, da perved-out muthafucka holla'd dat he SAW her n' shiznit fo' realz. As in, a acid trip or something. 

 **DEAN  
** Were Angela n' Mack a aiiight couple, biatch? I mean, is there any reason dat Angela would be mad salty wit him?

 **LINDSEY  
** What, biatch? Fuck dat shit, of course not, why do you ask?

 **DEAN**  
Just asking. Where did Mack live?  


  
INT. MOTEL ROOM - DAY

SAM is chillin on tha edge of tha bed, watchin televizzle.

 **TV ANNOUNCER  
** Next, on tha Skin channel, Casa Erotica Four fo' realz. A tale of two Latin beautizzles ...

DEAN opens tha door, n' SAM looks around, startled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude shuts off tha TV n' tosses down tha remote. 

 **SAM  
** Hey.

DEAN entas slowly, glancin between tha televizzle n' Sam.

 **SAM  
** What?

 **DEAN  
** Awkward.

 **SAM  
** Where up in tha hell was yo slick ass?

 **DEAN  
** Workin mah imaginary case. 

 **SAM  
** Yeah, biatch? And?

 **DEAN**  
Well, you was right, I didn't find much.  
(SAM nods, sympathetic)  
Yeah. Except Angelaz pimp took a dirt nap last night. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Slit his own throat. But, you know, thatz normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Uh, letz see, what tha fuck else. Oh, da thug was seein Angela everywhere before da ruffneck died. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! But you know, I be shizzle thatz just me transferrin mah own vibe. 

 **SAM  
** Okay, I git dat shit. I be sorry, maybe there is suttin' goin on here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

 **DEAN  
** Maybe, biatch? Sam, I know how tha fuck ta do mah thang, despite what tha fuck you might think. 

 **SAM  
** We should hit up tha muthafuckaz crib. 

 **DEAN  
** I just came from there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Pile of dead plants, just like tha cemetery yo. Hell, dead goldfish like a muthafucka. 

 **SAM  
** So, unholy ground?

 **DEAN**  
Maybe. I be still not gettin dat bangin mad salty spirit vibe from Angela.   
(Dude gets up, crosses tha room ta pick up a pink book.)  
I done been readin this, though.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass stole tha girlz diary?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, Sam fo' realz. And if anythang tha girlz a lil too sick. 

 **SAM  
** So what tha fuck do you wanna do?

 **DEAN  
** Keep digging, rap ta mo' of her playas. 

 **SAM  
** Yo ass git any names?

 **DEAN**  
Is you kiddin me son, biatch? I have her bestest playa up in tha whole wide ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! (Holdin tha diary.)  


  
EXT. NEIL'S HOUSE - DAY

 **NEIL  
** I didn't realize tha college employed grief counselors. 

 **DEAN  
** Oh yeah. Yeah, you talk, our slick asses listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Or maybe throw up in a lil therapeutic collage, whatever jump-starts tha healing. 

 **NEIL  
** Well, I be thinkin I be aiiight. Thanks.

 **SAM  
** Well, you heard what tha fuck happened ta Mack Harrison, right?

 **NEIL  
** Yeah, I done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **SAM  
** Well, our laid-back asses just wanted ta make shizzle you was aiiight. Grief can make playas do wild-ass thangs. 

 **NEIL  
** Look, I be sorry as a muthafucka bout what tha fuck happened ta his muthafuckin ass. I am. But if Mack capped his dirty ass it wasn't 'cause of grief. 

 **DEAN  
** No, biatch? Then why?

 **NEIL  
** Dat shiznit was guilt fo' realz. Angiez dirtnap was Mattz fault n' he knew dat shit. 

 **SAM  
** How tha fuck was Mack responsible?

 **NEIL  
** Well, she straight-up loved dat muthafucka. But tha night of tha accident dat biiiiatch strutted up in on his ass wit another girl.

 **DEAN  
** Hmm.

 **NEIL  
** Bitch was straight-up torn up, thatz why dat thugged-out biiiatch crashed tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Um, look, I gotta git locked n loaded fo' work, so ... props fo' tha concern yo, but... seriously, I be bout ta be aiiight.

DEAN turns n' looks hella at SAM.  


 

EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. STREET - DAY

DEAN n' SAM strutt away from tha house.

 **DEAN  
** Well, dat vengeful spirit theoryz startin ta cook up a lil mo' sense. I mean, hell hath no fury... 

 **SAM  
** So if Angela gots her revenge on Matt, you be thinkin itz over?

 **DEAN  
** Well, there be a one way ta be sure.

They git up in tha car.

 **SAM  
** Yeah, biatch? Whatz that?

 **DEAN  
** Burn tha bones.

 **SAM**  
Burn tha bones, biatch? (Sam scoffs.) Is you high?  
(DEAN be thinkin bout that.)  
Angela took a dirt nap last week!

 **DEAN  
** So?

 **SAM  
** So, there be a not gonna be bones. Therez gonna be a ripe, rottin body up in tha coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN**  
Since when is you afraid ta git dirty, biatch? Huh?  


  
EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

DEAN n' SAM dig at ANGELA'S gravesite. They're pantin n' sweatin wit exertion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Standin on tha coffin, DEAN clears tha rest of tha dirt off n' turns ta SAM.

 **DEAN  
** Ladies first. 

 **SAM**  
(handin DEAN his wild lil' flashlight)  
Hold all dis bullshit.

SAM opens tha coffin, wincin up in preparation -- but tha coffin is empty. They peep each other n' shit.   


  
INT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

NEIL goes down ta tha basement ta find ANGELA waitin fo' his muthafuckin ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is pale. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns n' smilez at his muthafuckin ass.

 **ANGELA  
** I missed you, biatch.

She crosses tha room n' kisses his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude kisses her back.

 


	4. ACT THREE

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

DEAN n' SAM is still up in tha freshly dug grave, starin at ANGELA'S empty coffin.

 **DEAN  
** They buried tha body four minutes ago. 

 **SAM**  
I don't git dat shit.   
(In tha light of tha flashlight da perved-out muthafucka sees suttin' carved tha fuck into tha inside of tha coffin.)  
Look.

 **DEAN  
** What tha fuck iz that?

 **SAM  
** I aint sure.

 **DEAN  
** I've peeped these kind of symbols before.

EXT. DR. MASON'S OFFICE - DAY

DEAN poundz heavily on tha door. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Dat punk straight-up agitated.

 **SAM  
** Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Take it easy as fuck , aiiight?

  1. MASON opens tha door.
  2. **MASON  
** Yo ass is Angiez playas, right?



**SAM**  
(gently)  
Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Mason...

 **DEAN**  
(harshly)  
We need ta talk. 

  1. **MASON  
** Well, then, come in.



**SAM**  
Thanks.   


INT. DR. MASON'S OFFICE - DAY

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass teach Ancient Greek. Tell me -- (unwrappin paper) what tha fuck is these?

Dude shows DR. MASON tha paper on which his schmoooove ass copied tha symbols from tha grave.

  1. **MASON  
** I don't understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass holla'd dis had suttin' ta do wit Angela.



**DEAN  
** It do. Please, just humor mah dirty ass. 

  1. **MASON  
** They're part of a ancient Greek divination ritual. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. 



**DEAN  
** Used fo' necromancy, right?

  1. **MASON  
** Thatz right.



**DEAN  
** See, before we came over here we stopped by tha library n' did a lil homework ourselves fo' realz. Apparently they used rituals like dis one fo' communicatin wit tha dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Even brangin corpses back ta game. Full-on zombie action. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

  1. **MASON  
** Yes yes y'all. I mean, accordin ta tha legends. Now, whatz all dis about?



SAM, watchin DR. MASON'S face, is havin doubts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. DEAN pushes on.

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin you know.

 **SAM  
** Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Look, I git dat shit. Okay, biatch? There is playas dat I would give anythang ta peep again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But what tha fuck gives you tha right?

 **SAM  
** Dean!

  1. **MASON  
** What is you poppin' off about?



**DEAN  
** Whatz dead should stay dead dawwwg!

  1. **MASON  
** What?!



**SAM  
** Quit dat shiznit son!

 **DEAN  
** What you brought back aint even yo' daughta no mo'. These thangs is vicious, they violent, they so nasty they rot tha ground round dem wild-ass muthafuckas. I mean, come on, aint you peeped Pet Cemetery?

  1. **MASON  
** Yo ass is insane. 



**DEAN  
** Where is she?

  1. **MASON  
** Git outta mah house.



Dude starts dialin tha phone; DEAN knocks it outta his hand.

 **DEAN  
** I know you hidin her somewhere, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Where is she?!

 **SAM**  
Dean! Stop, thatz enough! Dean, look!  
(Dude grabs Deanz jacket, points ta a row of plants by tha window.)  
Beautiful, livin plants, n' you can put dat on yo' toast.   
(to Dr. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Mason)  
We leaving. 

  1. **MASON  
** I be callin tha police.



DEAN pulls outta SAMz grip n' storms fo' tha door.

 **SAM**  
Sir, we sorry bout dat bullshit. Us thugs won't bother you again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
(They leave)  


EXT. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SIDEWALK - DAY

DEAN strides down tha steps n' along tha sidewalk, SAM following.

 **SAM  
** What tha hell is tha matta wit you, Dean?

 **DEAN  
** Back off.

 **SAM  
** That playa is innocent son! Dude didn't deserve dat playa!

 **DEAN  
** Okay, so she not here, maybe he keepin her somewhere else. 

 **SAM  
** Quit dat shiznit son! Thatz enough, aiiight, biatch? Enough!

 **DEAN  
** Sam, I know what tha fuck I be bustin. 

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, you don't fo' realz. At all. Dean, I don't scare easy as fuck yo, but dude, you scarin tha crap outta mah dirty ass.

 **DEAN  
** Don't be overdramatic, Sam. 

 **SAM  
** Yo ass is dirty dis turned up ta be a real case. Because if it wasn't you would have just found suttin' else ta kill. 

 **DEAN  
** Wha-

 **SAM  
** Yo ass is on edge, you erratic - except fo' when you hunting, cuz then you downright freaky. Yo ass is tailspinning, man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. And you refuse ta rap bout it n' you won't let me help you, biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** I can take care of mah dirty ass, props. 

 **SAM  
** Fuck dat shit, you can't fo' realz. And you know what, biatch? Yo ass is tha only one whoz ass be thinkin you should have to. Yo ass don't gotta handle dis on yo' own, Dean, no one can. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN**  
(overlap)  
Sam, if you brang up Dadz dirtnap one mo' time I swear... 

 **SAM**  
(overlap)  
Stop. Please, Dean, itz cappin' you, biatch. Please. We've already lost Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We've lost Mom. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I lost Jessica fo' realz. And now I be goin ta lose you too?

 **DEAN**  
We betta git outta here before tha cops come.   
(Sam frowns at his muthafuckin ass.)  
I hear you, biatch. Okay, biatch? Yeah, I be bein a ass fo' realz. And I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. But right now we've gots a gangbangin' friggin' zombie hustlin around, n' we need ta git into how tha fuck ta bust a cap up in dat shit.   
(SAM laughs.)  
Right?

 **SAM  
** Our lives is weird, man.

 **DEAN**  
Yo ass is spittin some lyrics ta me son, biatch? Come on.  


INT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

dead!ANGELA is chillin on NEIL'S couch, NEIL is standin nearby.

 **ANGELA  
** Honey, is suttin' botherin yo slick ass?

 **NEIL  
** It aint nuthin but bout Matt.

 **ANGELA  
** Haven't we already talked bout that?

 **NEIL  
** I know yo, but uh...

 **ANGELA**  
Haven't we wasted enough time on his ass already, biatch? Come sit tha fuck down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.   
(he do)  
Yo ass always holla'd dat da ruffneck didn't deserve mah dirty ass. Yo ass was right.

 **NEIL  
** Angela, you didn't git out, n' go peep Matt, or...

 **ANGELA  
** I've been here tha whole time. Neil. Yo ass straight-up be thinkin I could do suttin' like that?

 **NEIL  
** No. I don't give a gangbangin' fuck. I can't help it, you just, you seem - 

 **ANGELA**  
Different, biatch? Yo ass is right. I am. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I realized you tha only one whoz ass eva straight-up loved mah dirty ass. Yo ass proved dis shit. Yo ass brought me back. I be wit you now, nahmeean, biatch? Isn't dat what tha fuck you always wanted?  


INT. MOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

DEAN is pacing, SAM chillin on tha bed wit Johnz journal.

 **DEAN  
** We can't just waste it wit a head shot?

 **SAM  
** Dude. You've been watchin way a fuckin shitload of Romero flicks.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass is spittin some lyrics ta me there be a no lore on how tha fuck ta smoke 'em.

Dude goes ta sit all up in tha table by tha window.

 **SAM**  
Fuck dat shit, Dean, I be spittin some lyrics ta you there be a too much. I mean, there be a a hundred different legendz on tha struttin dead yo, but they all have different methodz fo' cappin' dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
(Dude joins DEAN all up in tha table)  
Some say -- settin dem on fire, uh, one holla'd, where is it, biatch? Right here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Feedin they hearts ta wild dawgs. Thatz mah underground favorite. I mean, whoz ass knows whatz real n' whatz myth?

 **DEAN  
** Is there anythang they all have up in common?

 **SAM  
** No. But all dem holla'd silver might work.

 **DEAN  
** Silverz a start.

 **SAM  
** Yeah. But now how tha fuck is we goin ta find Angela?

 **DEAN  
** We've gots ta git into tha thug whoz ass brought her back.

 **SAM  
** Any ideas?

 **DEAN  
** I be thinkin if it aint her daddy it might be dat muthafucka Neil.

 **SAM  
** Neil?

 **DEAN  
** Yep. 

DEAN standz n' crosses tha room ta pick up tha pink diary.

 **SAM  
** How'd you come up wit that?

 **DEAN**  
Well, you've gots yo' journal, I've gots mine.   
(readin from tha diary)  
"Neilz a real shoulder ta cry on, da perved-out muthafucka so understandz what tha fuck I be goin all up in wit Matt." Therez mo' up in here where dat came from. It aint nuthin but gots Unrequited Ducky Ludd freestyled all over dat shit. 

 **SAM  
** Yeah yo, but dat don't mean his thugged-out lil' punk-ass brought her back from tha dead as fuckin fried chicken.

 **DEAN**  
Hmm. Did I mention he Pimp Masonz TA, biatch? Has access ta all tha same books.   


SAM looks speculative.

  
INT. NEIL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

DEAN n' SAM break in; tha doggy den is dark n' on tha fuckin' down-low.

 **DEAN  
** Hello, biatch? Neil?! It aint nuthin but yo' grief counselors -- we've come ta hug.

Dude pulls up a gun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at dat shit.

 **SAM  
** Silver bullets?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, enough ta make her rattle like a cold-ass lil chizzle purse.

They start stalkin all up in tha house, DEAN up in tha lead wit tha glock out. They peep wilted plants by a window. They find tha entrizzle ta tha basement. DEAN nodz at dat shit.

 **DEAN  
** Unless itz where he keeps his thugged-out lil' porn... 

SAM opens tha door n' DEAN leadz tha way down tha stairs ta tha room we saw earlier n' shit. Well shiiiit, it is empty.

 **DEAN  
** Sure be lookin like a zombie pen ta mah dirty ass. 

 **SAM  
** Yeah fo' realz. An empty one. Yo ass be thinkin Angelaz goin afta some muthafucka?

DEAN findz a loose grate n' pulls it aside -- it leadz out, somewhere.

 **DEAN  
** Nah, I be thinkin dat biiiiatch went up ta rent Beaches.

 **SAM  
** Look, smartass, she might bust a cap up in one of mah thugs. We gotta find her, Dean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. All right. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. She, uh, dat thugged-out biiiatch clipped Mack cuz da thug was cheating, right?

 **SAM  
** Yeah.

 **DEAN**  
Well, it takes two to, you know, have hardcore sex.   
(SAM shakes his head at his muthafuckin ass.)  
I don't give a fuck, it just seemed that, uh, Angelaz roommate was fucked up over Mattz dirtnap. I mean, like, straight-up fucked up up.  


  
INT fo' realz. ANGELA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

LINDSEY is chillin up in tha dim doggy den lookin at a gangbangin' framed picture of MATT n' ANGELA. Biatch hears a noise, gets up n' goes ta tha front door.

 **LINDSEY  
** Hello, biatch? (Dat hoe nervous.)

She opens tha door, sees nothing. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turns, n' ANGELA is there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho fo' realz. ANGELA grabs her by tha hair; LINDSEY screams.

 **ANGELA  
** Yo honey, I be home biaatch!


	5. ACT FOUR

INT fo' realz. ANGELA'S HOUSE - NIGHT

LINDSEY breaks away from ANGELA, screaming. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch runs tha fuck into tha kitchen; following, ANGELA picks up a pair of scissors from tha counter n' shit. 

 **ANGELA  
** Yo ass know what tha fuck you did dawwwg!

 **LINDSEY  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. I be so, so -- 

 **ANGELA  
** Yo ass aint sorry enough!

ANGELA stabs wit tha scissors; LINDSEY ducks fo' realz. ANGELA attacks again n' again n' again n' LINDSEY goes down ta tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. As ANGELA advances, LINDSEY kicks out, knockin ANGELA forward onto tha scissors. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch goes still. LINDSEY gets up, cautiously shoves ANGELA'S body over n' shit. Da scissors is stickin outta her chest.

 **LINDSEY  
** Oh Dogg. Oh god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh mah god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh mah god, oh, oh -- 

ANGELA'S eyes open; she grabs LINDSEY by tha afro n' pulls tha scissors up fo' realz. As she pulls dem both ta standing, readyin tha scissors ta stab LINDSEY, nuff muthafuckin shots is fired n' ANGELA convulses. Pan round ta reveal DEAN n' SAM, just entering; DEAN fires tha glock again, right up in ANGELA'S chest. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch screams n' bolts up tha window; DEAN bigs up. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM runs ta LINDSEY.

 **SAM  
** Gotcha. I gotcha. 

DEAN comes back all up in tha window.

 **DEAN  
** Damn, dat dead chick can run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **SAM  
** What now?

 **DEAN**  
I say we go gotz a lil chat wit Neil.   


  
EXT yo. HIGHWAY - NIGHT

DEAN is rollin tha Impala, SAM up in tha passengerz seat wit tha Journal open.

 **SAM  
** So tha silver bullets, they did something, right?

 **DEAN  
** Yeah, somethang yo, but not enough cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. What else you got?

 **SAM  
** Um, aiiight, besides silver, our crazy asses have ... nailin tha undead back tha fuck into they gravebeds. It aint nuthin but mentioned all dem times. It aint nuthin but probably where tha whole vampire stakin lore came from.

 **DEAN  
** Their gravebeds, biatch? Yo ass trippin like a muthafucka, biatch? 

 **SAM  
** Yeah. 

 **DEAN**  
How tha fuck tha hell is we goin ta git Angela back ta tha cemetery, biatch?   


  
INT. NEIL'S OFFICE - NIGHT  


NEIL is chillin up in tha dark, nervous. DEAN n' SAM enter.

 **NEIL  
** What is you muthafuckas bustin here?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass know, I've heard of playas bustin some pretty desperate thangs ta git laid yo, but you -- you take tha cake. 

 **NEIL  
** Okay. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck is you muthafuckas?

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass might wanna ask Angela dat question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 

 **NEIL  
** What?

 **SAM  
** We know what tha fuck you done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da ritual, biatch? Everything. 

 **NEIL scoffs.  
** Yo ass is crazy.

 **DEAN  
** Yo crazy-ass hoez past her expiration date n' we crazy, biatch? When one of mah thugss gone they should stay gone. Yo ass don't mess wit dat kind of stuff. 

 **SAM  
** Angela capped Matt. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tried ta bust a cap up in Lindsey. 

 **NEIL  
** I don't give a fuck what tha fuck you poppin' off about. 

DEAN stomps over ta tha other side of tha desk n' hauls NEIL up by tha collar.

 **DEAN  
** Yo dawwwwg! No mo' crap, Neil yo. His blood is on yo' hands. Now. Me n' his ass can make dis right yo, but you've gotta tell our asses where she is. Tell us!

 **NEIL  
** My fuckin house. Dat hoe at mah house. 

DEAN lets his ass go, then sees nuff muthafuckin potted plants by tha window. They're dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude looks at NEIL.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass shizzle bout that?

NEIL nods, lookin round nervously. DEAN looks past his ass ta peep a cold-ass lil closet. Thinking, da perved-out muthafucka seems ta git a idea. Dude raises his voice slightly.

 **DEAN**  
Listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it don't straight-up matta where she is. Therez only one way ta stop her n' shit. We've gots ta big-ass up another ritual over her grave, ta reverse tha one dat you done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! We goin ta need some black root, some, some scar weed, some candles... It aint nuthin but straight-up fucked up yo, but it'll git tha thang done. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch bout ta fuckin be dead again n' again n' again up in a cold-ass lil couple hours. I be thinkin you should come wit us.   
(Significantly)  
I be serious, Neil. Leave wit us. Right now, nahmeean, biatch? 

 **NEIL  
** No. No.

DEAN leans in, lowerin his voice again.

 **DEAN**  
Listen ta mah dirty ass. Git outta here as soon as you can. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But most of all, be cool. No sudden movements, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Don't make her mad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!   
(to SAM)  
Letz go.

Swallowin hard, NEIL goes ta tha closet n' opens it fo' realz. ANGELA is there.

 **NEIL  
** Yo ass holla'd you'd stay up in tha house.

 **ANGELA  
** Sorry. I just needed ta peep you, biatch. Neil,. Biiiatch please.Yo ass gotta help mah dirty ass.

She lowers her arms ta show tha stab n' cap woundz yo. Dude cringes.

 **NEIL  
** Oh, god. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 

 **ANGELA  
** Come wit me ta tha cemetery. Neil, they tryin ta bust a cap up in mah dirty ass. We gotta stop dem wild-ass muthafuckas. 

 **NEIL**  
Yo ass mean bust a cap up in dem wild-ass muthafuckas.   
(Bitch nods.)  
It aint nuthin but true. Mack n' Lindsey.

 **ANGELA  
** They hurt me biaaatch! If you ludd me you gonna make shizzle no muthafucka hurts me again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Take me ta tha cemetery. And then all dis is ghon be over n' shit. We can start freshly smoked up lives, together n' shit. 

 **NEIL**  
(nodding)  
Okay. Dogg help me yo, but aiiight. I be bout ta go git tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Just, just wait here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. 

Dude leaves yo. Dude make it down to:  


  
EXT. PARKING LOT - NIGHT

At his car, NEIL is pantin yo. Dude drops tha keys when tha pimpin' muthafucka tries ta open tha car; as da perved-out muthafucka stands, ANGELA is there.

 **ANGELA  
** Neil, you look nervous. 

 **NEIL (trembling)  
** Fuck dat shit, I'm, I be fine. 

 **ANGELA  
** Were you goin ta leave me son?

 **NEIL  
** Fuck dat shit, of course not.

 **ANGELA  
** Yo ass were, weren't yo slick ass?! How tha fuck could yo slick ass, biatch? Neil, I loved you, nahmean biiiatch?

 **NEIL  
** Angela - 

She grabs his head n' wrenches it; wit a cold-ass lil crunch, his neck breaks n' he falls ta tha ground dead as fuckin fried chicken.  


  
EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

Around ANGELA'S grave, DEAN n' SAM is lightin candles.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass straight-up be thinkin dis is goin ta work?

 **DEAN  
** Fuck dat shit, not straight-up. But dat shiznit was tha only thang I could come up with. 

They hear a noise, nod ta each other n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM standz n' pulls a glock from tha lil' small-ass of his back yo. Dude stalks up in tha direction of tha sound. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Some distizzle away, he freezes, hearin suttin' behind his muthafuckin ass. ANGELA advances towardz his muthafuckin ass. Dude turns all up in tha last minute, n' points tha glock at ANGELA; her big-ass booty stops short.

 **ANGELA  
** Wait son! It aint nuthin but not what tha fuck you think. I didn't ask ta be brought back. But itz still mah dirty ass. I be still a person. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Please.

Afta hearin her out, SAM fires tha gun, hittin her square up in tha forehead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch screams, her head snappin back. Then his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bolts back towardz tha grave. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tacklez him, n' he landz hard on tha ground; dat dunkadelic hoe twists his head back. DEAN fires at her, startlin her back ta standin yo. Dude blasts her nuff muthafuckin mo' times until she falls straight back tha fuck into tha open grave, landin up in tha empty coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. DEAN grabs a long-ass metal stake (sword?) n' runs ta tha grave, slidin tha last length on his knees n' divin tha fuck into tha coffin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude buries tha stake up in her chest, pinnin her in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

 **ANGELA screams  
** Wait, don't --!!!!

DEAN drives it further in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Biatch gasps one last time, then goes limp. DEAN pulls back, panting.

 **DEAN  
** Whatz dead should stay dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. 


	6. ACT FIVE

EXT. GRAVEYARD - MORNING

DEAN n' SAM pat down tha dirt over tha grave. (Panting.)

 **SAM  
** Chill up in peace. 

 **DEAN  
** Yeah. For phat dis time, aiiight?

They turn away, headin fo' tha car. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM grunts as he lifts tha shovel over one shoulder.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass know, dat whole fake ritual thang, lurin Angela tha fuck into tha cemetery, biatch? Pretty sharp.

 **DEAN  
** Thanks. 

 **SAM  
** But did we gotta use me as bait?

 **DEAN  
** I figured you was mo' her type. Yo ass know, dat freaky freaky biatch had pretty crappy taste up in muthafuckas. 

 **SAM  
** I be thinkin da hoe broke mah hand.

 **DEAN**  
(laughing)  
Yo ass is just too fragile. We bout ta git it looked at later n' shit. 

Dude turns back ta Maryz grave, pausing.

 **SAM  
** Yo ass wanna stay fo' a while?

 **DEAN  
** No.

They drop they thangs up in tha trunk of tha hoopty n' git in, DEAN up in tha driverz side. They pull outta hood to:

EXT yo. HIGHWAY - DAY

Ridin along, DEAN is scowling. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. SAM looks at him, concerned. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! DEAN pulls tha hoopty across tha road ta stop up in tha opposite shoulder n' shiznit yo. Dude gets up n' sits on tha hood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! SAM bigs up. 

 **SAM  
** Dean, what tha fuck is it?

Pause.

 **DEAN  
** I be sorry as a muthafucka bout dat bullshit. 

 **SAM  
** Yo ass -- For what?

 **DEAN**  
Da way I've been acting.   
(SAM crosses ta sit on tha hood, close but not touching.)  
And fo' Dad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, da thug was yo' daddy like a muthafucka. And itz mah fault dat he gone.

 **SAM  
** What is you poppin' off about?

 **DEAN  
** I know you've been thankin it -- so have I. Don't take a smart-ass ta figure it out. Back all up in tha hospitizzle, I done cooked up a gangbangin' full recovery. Dat shiznit was a miracle fo' realz. And five minutes lata Dadz dead n' tha Coltz gone. 

 **SAM  
** Dean.

 **DEAN  
** Yo ass can't tell me there be a not a cold-ass lil connection there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I don't give a fuck how tha fuck tha demon was involved. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I don't give a fuck how tha fuck tha whole thang went down exactly. But Dadz dead cuz of mah dirty ass fo' realz. And dat much I do know.

 **SAM  
** Us dudes don't give a fuck dis shit. Not fo' sure.

 **DEAN**  
Sam ...  
(Dude starts crying)  
Yo ass n' Dad ... you da most thugged-out blingin playas up in mah game. And now ... I never should've come back, Sam. Well shiiiit, it wasn't natural. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack fo' realz. And now look whatz come of dat shit. I was dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And I should have stayed dead as fuckin fried chicken. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass wanted ta know how tha fuck I was feeling. Well, thatz dat shit.   
(SAM nods.)  
So tell mah dirty ass. What could you possibly say ta make dat all right, biatch?

DEAN turns ta peep Sam. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sam looks away. Dean looks away.

Pan up ta reveal tha two of them, still not like touching, leanin against tha hood of tha hoopty on tha side of a mountain road. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! 


End file.
